This is the only type of flag that should be waving on a golf vacation.

Everybody knows there are supposed to be flags on golf courses, but until now, they've largely been restricted to marking the hole location on the greens.

Well, if any of your upcoming golf vacations include playing Davidsonville, Maryland's Renditions golf course, a layout with replica holes from courses that have hosted major championships, you're going to see flags waving all over the place...including in front of your face.

Renditions' newfangled pace of play system, designed to address its chronic problem of slow play (up to six-hour rounds have been reported), has rangers, sorry, "player assistants," flashing green, yellow and red flags at groups to notify them if they are on pace, falling behind, or out of position. This of course, in lieu of the apparently old-fashioned verbal updates. A spokesperson for Landscapes Unlimited, which owns the golf course, calls it "non confrontational." I call it ridiculous.

You know what? Severely slow players should be confronted, verbally. And golf course operators should realize that it's OK to possibly annoy a few customers on a day when it ensures the happiness of a few hundred. But hey, if it's silent signal flags they want to use with all groups, I've got a pretty good one that I could flash back, and it only takes one hand to fly it.

At check in, Renditions' new system also includes pamphlets and a canned speech explaining how to speed up play, and each foursome is told to appoint a captain to be responsible for keeping everyone else in the group on pace. Yeah, I want to be that guy.

So, what does each member of the captained crew get if the group finishes a round in four-and-a-half hours? Why, a Renditions Player Card of course, good for a two-for-one green fee....after the purchase of four at full price.

If Renditions really wanted to speed up play, they could start by getting rid of the interesting but lengthy hole histories that people stop to read at each tee box and by informing players that nobody is going to believe they played Augusta National, no matter how many pictures of the fake Amen Corner they stop to take. Even better, how about starting everyone out with a quick, pre-round lesson instead of lectures and literature?

One last note to the player assistants: wear a helmet. When most people are on a golf course, and they see a flag, they aim at it.

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